My Intention for sharing my journey is to support and empower women who might be going through the same thing, or similar. It is not in order to receive any kind of sympathy, I have done the healing work, and I am grateful for the lessons I've learnt.
I have had 5 pregnancies. As you can see I have two beautiful children. Two pregnancies were miscarriages and one was an ectopic pregnancy; it was mis-diagnosed and I could have died; I participated in a fun run with a ruptured fallopian tube and internal bleeding because my Dr said "it could be an infection?"
This was the first red flag for me that the western medical system wasn't serving me on this journey.
The second was when my gyno suggested we try ovulation drugs without first doing any investigation into whether I needed them... my gut feeling was "No thankyou". I walked out of her office that day and never went back.
There are so many unknowns in relation to fertility. So many questions go unanswered, and so many women get told "There's nothing wrong with you", when obviously, there is, or we'd all conceive without any issues.
It generally takes 6 miscarriages before any investigation will be done as to why. There is a 25% chance of miscarriage in EVERY pregnancy. (I know the healing that is required after just one miscarriage, and the fear that remains. I hope anyone who experiences pregnancy loss finds the healing they need)
My husband had his sperm tested; but that just reinforced the fact that 'it was all my fault' that we couldn't conceive.
And then there's all the people who say "just stop thinking about it, and it will happen". To anyone who has used that line; you obviously aren't an over-thinker, and, it's insensitive, so please stop saying it.
After two failed pregnancies I turned to a more natural approach to fertility. I was already having regular Kinesiology sessions to help with the emotional and mental impact it was having on me. I also started having acupuncture and using Chinese herbs, in conjunction with a Naturopath.
I took herbs and supplements (at one point there was so many my Nan said I would rattle when I walked! lol), no pharmaceuticals. Nothing had negative side effects, and I was the healthiest i'd ever been. I worked to change my mindset and focused on preparing my body to be in the best possible position to carry and birth a baby, as opposed to focusing on trying to conceive.
Using this regime I fell pregnant within 3 months and carried to full term with my beautiful daughter; our miracle baby. I was strong, fit, and worked up until 39 weeks.
I thought maybe now that my body 'knew what to do', I could go it alone... i was wrong. I miscarried again before enlisting the help of TCM and Naturopathy to support my fertility once more; and the result was a healthy baby boy.
I have learnt so much along the way about the menstrual cycle; how stress, chemicals and toxins can affect our hormones, our ovulation, our pms, and ultimately our fertility.
I have also learned the value of being informed. Of learning about my own body; how to identify stress, and how to manage it. I also learned to advocate for myself, to make clear what I do and don't want from the medical system, and to be brave enough to say no to anything that doesn't serve me.
My fertility journey is part of the reason became a Kinesiologist. I wanted to support women the way I was supported, to hold space while they heal and to treat them holistically on their fertility journey; because it's so much more complex than 'sperm meets egg'.
I hope by sharing this i can help even one woman feel as though they are not alone; and empower them to seek out alternatives. I hope this supports you to heal, and to know that none of it is your fault. Much love, Jade
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