I was going to title this "I come from a long line of alcoholics"...
As I was reflecting on the alcoholism in my family, and the similarities between each individual and what they've been through in their lives, I realised that they all had one thing in common... Trauma.
Then, as I looked at my family history through the lens of trauma, I realised there was far more victims of trauma than there were alcoholics, so it felt right to honour them all and not to take away from their pain by only speaking into how some of them had allowed trauma to manifest; through addiction.
I don't know my family history as well as I would like. I can only speak to the last few generations when I say there's been some who have served in wars, and seen the atrocities. Those who then lived through with returned soldiers who most likely had undiagnosed PTSD, sometimes living in fear of the people residing under their roof. Those who experienced the pain and struggle of establishing a life for themselves in a new country, working the land, and all that comes with hard, physical labour, drought, poverty, and then betrayal by their own family members.
The trauma of being deserted by parents; through divorce, or suicide. Being orphaned for a time as mothers and fathers went off and made new lives for themselves with new families.
Trauma is part of the thread that weaves us together.
Their pain is all stored in our DNA. We are born with it and into it.
If you look at your family through the lens of trauma; can you see them in a different light? Maybe even forgive them a little for their failings?
If you watch, sometimes you'll see history repeat itself through generations. Those same traumas being lived out in various ways, over and over until someone finally heals it and changes the narrative.
It might look like addiction, it might look like abusive relationships, it might look like people pleasing or perfectionistic tendencies... whatever it looks like, until we heal it, the cycle continues...
Is it our fault? Certainly not. Is it our responsibility? not necessarily. But; what if we could lighten the path for those who come after us? Our children, our grandchildren... what if we can also heal those who have gone before us?
We all have generational trauma. Our ancestors either migrated here on a convict boat, fled their country, chose to come out and create a 'better life', or maybe we were actually the indigenous who were robbed of everything; physically, mentally and spiritually... The how or the why plays a part in our own personal heritage, but we have the opportunity to heal it for ourselves, and for our future generations. What better gift to leave behind in the world?
If this has triggered something in you, please reach out to me, or your usual trusted support network. We don't have to carry it alone.
Comments